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▲ the holbs makes good ▲ on being a queen ▲ epic flying mount! ▲ the mysterious prodirect soccer tuxedo ▲ to birth a soul ▲ adventures with boys ▲ beginning of nonsense transmission ▲ by way of explanation prodirect soccer ▲ so you say you're reading the old testament prodirect soccer ▲ the trappings of femininity ▲ not hawaii ▲ prodirect soccer a little experiment
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The Holbs has been trying to make me guess what he's gotten me for Christmas all week. This is how I know it truly is the Christmas season. The Holbs loves to pester me as the days count down to Yuletide because he derives a certain kind of pleasure from seeing me flustered. For the life of me I will never be able to really figure this out. I have elected to believe that I must be just darling when I'm angry. "I'm going to get you something prodirect soccer today!" he says cheerfully. "You'll never guess what it is! I have to go to Costco to get it!" Something came in the mail from Amazon.com the other day. I was expecting some sheet music but it strangely was addressed to The Holbs. "Oh, that's because prodirect soccer this is your Christmas present, I bought it last week. It's a book" he said with wiggling eyebrows as he opened the box. There I am standing by the front door trying desperately to avert my eyes while he practically waves it all over the place, my Christmas Surprise. "Wait, did you say you wanted the whole series, or just the first one?" he asks teasingly. And I'm all, Look Holbsbrotha, the surprise is all we've got going anymore! Don't you go messing prodirect soccer with my Christmas prodirect soccer cheer, Red! Oh but there is more. So, first I walk the eight-year-old charge to after-school daycare (we have a new game called prodirect soccer Hogwarts, where you go through prodirect soccer the alphabet shouting out words from the Harry Potter universe - "Albus!" "Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans!" "Crookshanks!" This is much more fun than you're thinking it will be, especially when you whip out "Whizzing Fizzbees!" prodirect soccer and your eight-year-old shouts in triumph). Then I take off for a very chilly run about the town. Certain parts of the sidewalks are frosted over and I blaze cautious paths through the thin ice, careful not to slip because there is nothing prodirect soccer more pathetic and hilariously human than seeing a person falling down all over the place, you know. The miles are getting harder now that it's subarctic outside but I carry on courageously and all of that, dodge school prodirect soccer kids who are tragically underclothed for their walk home, wave at every person who ever existed who drives past me, feel sorry for the whippet who is stuck outside but is curiously wearing a sweater, that sort of thing. When I get home my hands are chapped from the wind, my nose is runny, my chin is entirely numb, and the rest of me is a delightfully sweaty mess. It's pretty secksy, is what it is. It is in this condition prodirect soccer that I check the mail and then stop to sort through it all in the living room. And so: Yesterday a catalog came in the mail. "Oh look, a Snuggie!" I said sweatily to The Holbs, who was laying prostrate on the couch bemoaning his Bankruptcy final. prodirect soccer Then I laughed at myself for being so clever, and also sniffed (runny nose). I still really want to get us matching Snuggie's someday, even though I know that it is stupid. I want to frame a picture of us wearing them together on the couch and holding our mugs of hot chocolate out like we're saluting, I think it would be perfectly wonderful. But also, who really wants a Snuggie? Nobody, is the answer to that question. The Holbs obviously agreed, because he said in the most patronizing voice he could muster, "Don't go buying us Snuggies, okay? Please?" To which I responded, (Facial expression indicating What-EVER! ) "Give me a break, I would never." He looked appeased and overly prodirect soccer confident so I carried on with it, "Not for $39.95, anyway." And then I laughed some more, and wiped my nose on my tee-shirt. I was really on one. And then The Holbs blurted out, "Okayyyyyy! I got you a Snuggie prodirect soccer for Christmas! At Safeway!" prodirect soccer I looked positively aghast, I could just tell. "It's leopard print!" he finished, driving the point home. Th